art & play

if you can’t move forward, just move sideways

There are times when I feel stuck at how exactly to move forward. Many times I have been so wrapped up in trying to make the right move that I just stop completely. Lately I have been practicing ways to keep moving without the right answer. Instead of getting frustrated I begin to wonder where this roadblock will lead, I take a deep breath and then I recall what feeds my heart beyond the daily to-dos and pick up there.

This is how I begin to shift and slowly move sideways. Try it for yourself:

Take a moment to give just to your heart—work on a project you keep putting off even though it seems like so much fun. Just devote 5 minutes. Notice your chest, your heart, your posture. Feel your hand holding any tools, feel your feet fully planted in the ground, balance the weight. Allow that balance to reach fully up your calves and thighs. Tighten muscles, lengthen others. Shift. Breathe into your heart and return fully to your work — play — art.

We can begin to realize that it is not frivolous to spend time daydreaming. Day dreams are what feed our imagination, our sense of possibilities, our feeling of lightness. It is from these daydreams that we obtain truths about our heart, little hints to guide us to our purpose.

claim your 15 minutes, now

As we take on the important have-tos of the day like project deadlines, clients, meetings, taxes, kids and the rest; don’t forget to sprinkle in bits of fun and laughter. When we choose to add joy even the most tedious project can become playful, and play is vital. It is essential to our lives because play helps us to release stress which is a very destructive force in our bodies causing a cascade of hormonal shifts, inflammation, muscular tension and longer recovery periods.

Today, give yourself permission to have 15 minutes to claim as your own creative playground. Share some laughter with a friend, make a little artsy project for yourself or a loved one or just take a walk and dream. It is up to us to nourish our creative center, to keep our imagination flowing.

In 15 minutes, anything is possible. 

practice play

We have to find moments to share laughter and joy because it is in these little spaces that our hearts begin to open. Without these little moments, connections between the deepest parts of ourselves weaken and unravel. These are not petty frivolous moments—they are the foundation of our connection to our hearts and each other.

Even in a packed, full day, when I give myself permission to enjoy a smile or laugh, I notice how those moments actually strengthen my determination and my ability to deal with stress. I have to practice giving myself moments to enjoy being imaginative or maybe even unproductive. Play can inspire solutions, allowing us to see possibilities and experiment with what is in front of us. It cultivates curiosity and wonder.

There will always be a to-do list so it is my responsibility to find ways to get things done and feed my soul at the same time. It is not impossible, but it does take practice. Practicing play might sound funny, but I find that I can easily get into the mindset of needing to be serious to get things done. However, play helps keep me giggling and when I am giggling, all my work flows better.

Our lives are full of lists to do, things to accomplish, errands to run. Just play anyway. Infuse all of your doings with a sense of play and laughter, your spirit will lighten and you may even find your playfulness inspires those around you.

 

let it out

Creative projects are alive. When we dare to take on something and create it with our own two hands, our thoughts, our time, we breathe life into each little detail. And if we choose to hold on so tightly and judge every wrong without letting it go into the world, we strangle this new creation and in a sense we strangle ourselves.  

Creating isn’t about making the most perfect book, painting, whatever. It is all about being in the moment, listening to our heart guide the creative process and trusting where that will lead us. It is about being courageous enough to make our thoughts come to life and share it all with the world.

 

lightening the work

I don’t often let things stand in my way, and sometimes instead of easing with the flow, I have a tendency to force my way through. At times, this may be just the right method, but overall, I am realizing I don’t need to add more force to break things down because the extra force just causes me to get tight and constricted all the way from my thoughts to my muscles. And in all that tension and constriction, how can things flow, how can I stay connected to my breath?

A bit back I was working with a client, massaging their tight shoulder. We were working a pretty intense area with lots of knots and sensation. As I worked I made sure the pressure was okay, that they were still breathing to let go. While I kept concentrating and working, I became more serious about doing a good job and I could feel tension sweep over me, almost as if I was trying to force the knots out of them. Just as I noticed this, my gut whispered to me—it’s not about force but intention—I could do as much ‘good’ by being playful, so I switched gears and began a more rhythmical fluid movement across the tight area. My hands, which were focused so hard on alleviating the knots, loosened as I switched massage strokes. I heard my client take a deep breath too, and then watched their shoulder drop in relaxation.

I left that session with a full feeling and some hands on experience to a knowing that I had previously only held in my mind—that it’s not always about how hard I work, but how flexible I am in the present with what shows up. Being open to the experimentation that happens when I don’t have expectations actually allows me to accomplish more and I can do it with a laugh or smile.

Now, I intend to take this learning from massage and let it reflect onto other areas of my life to lighten my work and my heart. May the experimenting begin...

 

a daily list

The fresh excitement around a list of intentions can carry me far, but somewhere along the way, I have to energize my efforts on my own and follow through with that lovely list or else, at the end of the year a pretty list is all it will be.

In the past I have made those overwhelming long to-do lists that reach all the way to the moon, but that type of list is unproductive for me. I need something short, simple and most of all accomplishable. I have come to realize that if my list has more than 8 things on it for the day, my mind goes a little woggley and I become unfocused.

So now, I make a list every morning of the must do's, then it becomes fresh in my mind. I honestly look at the time frame and don't over schedule. (This is a new practice. I used to think ‘oh, if I just get this done, then I can relax.’ For me, there is never just one more thing. I will always do more if given the chance.) With the newly created list I can take on those few jobs and let the others go for the day. This gives me a chance to concentrate on what is in front of me, instead of allowing a few stressful responsibilities to grow bigger in my mind before I have even had a chance to begin them.

Of course there is always more to do, but there is also a need to breathe and take a break to refresh for the next day. I make sure to add the important things that nourish me and give them priority too — these are my strength builders—a must. If I don't take care of me, I won't be of any use to anyone. If I don't give the nourishing things priority, no one else will either. 

This list also has a flip side — it instantly becomes a reflection of everything I have done. When a day arises and I am feeling low, like I have no energy or I don't think I am accomplishing anything, I can peek back through my crossed off items and see on paper the progress I am making. It is a map of how I arrived at this place, a record of my journey and a chance to smile at all the work and challenges I have faced head on. Celebrating is crucial... 

If we don't honor the work we have done, we won't feel inspired and motivated to continue forward. Celebrate your accomplishments! Embrace this ritual— it may inspire you to accomplish more than you could ever dream.

 

write it down!

The new year gives me a chance to reset, to refocus and experiment.

I took some time to write down a few big intentions for the year on a bright golden yellow piece of paper. Both the list and the color energize me every time I peek at it. I am excited to reread the list over the year to see how these items have progressed, grown and changed. Once I write things down, there’s power behind them. (Voicing an idea is the first step, writing it down takes it a step further. Match those written words with the muscle of your heart’s intention and you have a powerful combo that will magnetize opportunities and help in the unfolding of your intention. It is amazing!)

For me, it’s not so much about making resolutions. I know that in order for some of my big dreams to come true a few routines will have to change, so I will let that happen naturally and concentrate on the dream, not the little details that may stand in my way.

Making a list requires a certain amount of responsibility. This isn’t just about writing a list that gets lost in a week; it’s a list to mold my future months, to set the course of my work and life. This is a list that needs to connect with my heart and stir a sense of wonder in my spirit. The responsibility lies in listening to my heart and being brave enough to write down intentions that will stretch me and allow me to grow and shift over the year.

I must decide whether the intention or goal is even what I truly want. There are things out there that many people say "should" be done, but do they really need to be done by me or are those items just adding extra weight and dragging me down? This is a chance to break free, to expand and dream big—whoo hooo, let’s go!

all at once

With extra time to get all the work related things done, I want to get it all done  n o w .

I have been racing around some days so much that even though my body has arrives to pick up our son from school, my mind continues to race on — checking off to-do items and getting things organized. I can be a crazy multi-tasker.

I was just dashing out the door to go meet our little guy and it finally hit me that I have been acting as if I could get everything done at once and actually judging myself accordingly. Maybe there is a part of me that thinks the list won’t fill back up when I get these little items checked off. But it doesn’t work that way and I could finally see this belief I held staring me in the face.

Things take time to simmer and develop; learning unfolds at a perfect pace. So I wonder, why do I go on acting as if things can be done in an instant and holding myself to that impossible level of perfection?
I hadn’t taken time to acknowledge the changes that I have made lately, the growth that I have been experiencing, and most importantly, the amazing family that has been supporting me through this journey.

Of course I want and need to get everything done on my list, but maybe I can slow down just a bit to enjoy the projects, savor the process and relish the prefection that is right now. I am trying to make smaller lists for each day and designate priorities. Lessons always have a way of weaving back into focus just when I need to strengthen certain skills. As always, I say heartily, a million and one thank yous!

 

 

echoes

 
I began my third sweater this past June and I finished it the other night. It just needs one last blocking and then it is ready to wear. I am super, super excited. 

This one was a big experiment for me. I have been avoiding seams, especially big seams in sweaters. When I have thought of seams I found myself getting overwhelmed at all the knitting and sewing. I somehow imagined that I would need to knit about a hundred different pieces, but actually, it is usually only 4. And in the back of my mind I had all the voices I have heard about how hard it is to seam knitting echoing around. I couldn’t hear anything about how easy it was or fun, just those grumpy ones. I heard them so much I could tell I was beginning to think it was hard too and something to be avoided.

In early spring, I found a sweater I really liked. I was in trouble though it had seams, but only two knit pieces. I figured this was my chance to stretch and take on the challenge. To make it a bit more fun and enticing, I found some yarn that I splurged on (it also put a bit more pressure on me to finish this to the end—I really wanted to wear it).

The knitting went great. It was a pattern unlike and I had knit before, sort of knit sideways. I blocked it and got ready to sew. But as I pulled the pieces out of the water I noticed a large hole in the right side. Ugh. My heart sank and I was frustrated. The high of beginning a new part of the process quickly vanished. I began blocking the left side slowly and let my mind simmer on how to resolve the big hole.

A few weeks later I remembered a friend, Allison, telling me about her use of knitting lifelines. And it clicked. I put in a lifeline where I knew I could restart the pattern easily then pulled the whole front half of the sweater out, sort of sad, sort of liberating. It quickly knit back up and I was back at the blocking stage.

Before I began sewing I went back to all my resources for basic knitting techniques. I wanted to start fresh and put aside any past experiences or opinions about seams. I reminded myself it was okay to make a mistake and I could take it slow and start over if I had to. Then I made myself a good cup of chai, took a deep breath and dove in.

This sweater, while only having 2 pieces, had a whole lot of seaming. I needed to use 3 different techniques to complete everything. I reminded myself that this was all new to me, and gave myself some space to get the hang of it. And while I did make a few mistakes and had to start over more than a few times, I finished! And I actually loved doing the sewing. And to me, that was the craziest conclusion, what I was avoiding the most was what I ended up loving the most. Each time I wear this sweater I will be reminded of beliefs I let go of in order to create something new.

zip, zip, zip...

Earlier this summer I took on the challenge of zippers. Oh, no, they may not sound like much, in fact I use them pretty mindlessly every day. But sewing with them seemed like an impossible feat to me. Although I love to pass the rack of zippers at the fabric store, lured by the colorful stripes they form while hanging, I could simply not imagine buying one.

Then one day something came over me, I actually bought one without knowing quite what to do with it. I guess it was my way of inching closer to taking on something new. Now that it was home, there was no use in letting it sit around. I had a few ideas: a new little wallet or… skirts. Well the thought of skirts made me much more nervous. I had been dreaming of, and putting off making them for many years. So, of course, skirts it was.

My research began and I finally found the perfect tutorial for me. I began reading and rereading the posts for a few days. My imagination was rolling. Some of the instructions seemed absolutely nutty. I had no idea what some of the steps were but I figured if I followed things and got to experimenting with fabric instead of just reading, it would all fall right into place. Taking it step by step with the materials in hand, I found that answers were coming right as I needed them.

I began with a practice skirt and gave myself plenty of space to make mistakes. I find that if I realize that perfection is in doing something new and challenging. There is no need to get it more “right” than that. Future practice will help me polish my skills and techniques so for now I can relax and just try it and notice how things come together.

I worked for a couple of weeks straight making skirts: cutting fabric, muslin, darting, pressing, making ruffles, rolling hems and laughing at myself a lot. All the while I learned so much and I ended up with 10 skirts. Only 1 wasn’t wearable and found its way to the give-away pile. Not bad for a brand new challenge.

Of course, now that that’s done, I am dreaming of ways to adapt my pattern and get more creative. At least I have a bit of time until next summer!

 

daring myself

 

Taking on new projects requires me to stretch a bit and it’s that stretching that sometimes sends me right out of my comfort zone. It takes practice for me to find my way through the discomfort but as I do, I learn more about myself, my process and my life. Lately I have been taking on new challenges just to learn how I cope through the process. I notice what makes me nervous, I feel the butterflies inside and I keep moving forward.

I have found that lots of research can help me understand the technical instructions and deep breaths have a way of helping me focus. I try to pace myself so I don’t bite off more than I can chew in the little moments I give myself to work. Then it just comes down to the last moment: doing it. There is no way to avoid the challenge unless I want to stop in my tracks. It does help that these are truly projects I want to do and I am not willing to let them pass me by. I learned a long time ago that there was no point in pushing myself into projects that just were not calling my heart because these things would sit undone for days, months, years.

Being a mama has also helped me to step out and try some new things. It is awfully hard to ask our child to be open to new adventures if I am unwilling to share in that journey. Luckily lately, quite a few of these adventures we have taken together as a family, stepping out together and expanding our worlds — one giant excavator at a time.

When I approach challenges with an open heart I can see how these new discoveries affect all the other areas of my life. I relish each struggle for the growth I gain and the feeling of excitement that leads me to seek out another challenge.

be on the lookout

 

I never know when a little spark of inspiration is going to pop up so I have learned to keep my eyes open and be on the lookout. Sometimes it comes in the form of a word or two spoken by a friend other times it can be a part of a plant or flower that seems like it comes from another world.

As I was buying things for dinner I passed by some fresh chives, an ingredient that is not often part of our dinners, but they called me so I grabbed a small handful and took them home.

Fresh veggies are simple little beauties, and with a good knife, wonderful to chop. I have a love for cutting them into small little pieces and watching the designs appear. As the thin green straws of chives came off the knife, water held the small cylinders together like a bundle of little tunnels. Definitely a design worth sketching and maybe even adding to a future painting.

These little gems are all around. I have to be willing to slow down and notice and I have to be willing to see where an idea takes me.

stand strong

 
More than a few years ago I decided to take a turn in the road and walk away from how things were going in my life so far. I realized that the job I had, although fun, wasn’t giving my heart anything to sing about. That was when I started looking into life coaching training and other ways I could use my art as a way to help people wake up to their own creative nature. Luckily, I had a friend that helped me notice all the support there was to make this change, so I leapt. From that one little leap came so many changes: getting divorced, being laid off, rediscovering my art, getting married, becoming a mama, going back to school (three times!), starting a business.

Along the way though a lot of challenges arose, times that I had to rely solely on my own knowing, my own heart’s wisdom. That lesson, listening to my heart, was the hardest of them all. Finding silence in the midst of all the change, to listen and feel inside, was the best education for me. I learned how to stand strong in my own knowing and how to hold tight to that knowing through the years of making changes happen. Even though it can take an instant to decide to go back to school, it can take years for that schooling to be over and a few more to allow the new path to take root. There is always going to be a chance to turn back, to stop, but why settle for anything less than the heart is calling for?

Go ahead, take a moment to listen and enjoy what you hear.

holding onto lessons too tightly

 
I had one of the best high school art teachers. She was a teacher who truly cared about helping us develop our skills while honoring our creative voice. There weren’t many rules in her classroom as far as art was concerned—we learned a lot by experimentation and getting our hands dirty. However, when she taught us about watercolors there was one rule, never use the tube of white that comes with your paint set. If we needed white, she wanted us to learn to keep our paper white, to use the negative space. I still use my watercolor paint box and that tube of white is still unopened. I am not sure why that rule stuck.

My paintings these days are made with acrylics, watered down to become almost like watercolors so I can layer color upon color. Maybe it is because this technique is similar to watercolor that as I reached for the tube of white I found myself thinking, “oh that wouldn’t be right, we were always told not to use white.”

Funny, this lesson is over twenty years old and yet so perfectly vivid. While I can reach for any color and begin to paint with ease, it actually took some practice to jump into the white. I had to remind myself that there really is no way to make a mistake. I can always apply gesso and begin again.

With this little tube of unused white paint on my desk, it makes me wonder what other little pieces I may be holding onto and how those too affect my life. I am sure over time many more examples will be revealed and with a gentle goodbye, I can let them go.

pause please

 
I go zoom, zooming by to get all the things on the list complete, sometimes racing all day to finish just a few items. After a few days like these stack up and I find ways to rebel and drag my feet. I know that my heart knows best asking for a moment of play but sometimes I feel like it has to all get done now, right now. That is when it becomes most important for me to listen and put the list on pause, if only for a few moments.

When I think about it, there is always a space to infuse a bit of play or rest in between the lines, especially when it means that without it I will be denying my creative spirit. It’s not just about taking a lazy, I don’t want to do anything attitude, it’s about taking time to refill myself, to soak up some of the beauty that surrounds me so that same beauty can be infused with all the projects I have in front of me. The list is always going to be there and I am always going to be adding new things, so why not add inspiration as well?

Sometimes I sneak a few deep breaths in before pouring a cup of chai, grounding my feet and stretching arms and torso upwards. Or leave a few minutes early to pick up our son so I can walk around the block an extra time before heading in. It’s amazing how 5 minutes can restore my balance and perspective.

stillness

 

With this rush swirling about me, I have, trailing behind, one of the longest to-do lists I have seen. I am not too sure how I managed to get so busy. Just one thing piling up on another and another. I know that part of it is all the transition coming off of summer, getting back to school, back into a bit more work. Oh yes, all the while starting a business, enjoying new clients and finding space to paint and create.

Heading to rest at night there have been nights that my body ached. And as I crawl into bed and got cozy, I remember to feel my breath, my body, and the stillness of the night. The quiet seems to give me back a bit more energy.

With all the rush and running I need to take breaks, allowing myself moments of quiet—allowing the stillness to seep in and nourish my next few steps. It’s sort of ironic that in order for me to get more done, I need to stop. I need to take a breath and get centered.

For sure, when the list does shrink a bit, I will make time to fully recharge. In the meantime, I can prioritize and take moments to rest.

get cozy and go, go, go.

 
Our summer went zooming by — so much busy packed into the months. I had thought I would be able to write along the way but I had to let go of those ideas with the lack of quiet space. Sometimes things need to be just as they are without the addition of my pile of worry.

These days have gotten back into the swing of a routine with Korbs back at school a bit, work has gotten fuller and my desire to get back to writing is making its way to the surface again. I love the writing and I know also have to balance it with the other list of work that has been brought to the forefront with the beginning of my business.

The pile of work is here and as I ponder the list, sometimes I can feel worn out before I even begin. To combat that feeling of burden, I find little ways to make it less of a mountain. There are always going to be parts I dislike, parts that seem like a chore and it is my mindset during those parts that can go a long way in allowing them to flow and pass swiftly.   

I am reminded to be aware of the long list of to-dos and just do a piece at a time. Truly, there is no race, just an opportunity to practice each and every day patience, focus, and laughter. So here I go—cozied up with a warm chai in our neighborhood café taking on a chunk of work for the day.

using a touch of the past to inspire today

I have been reading Jon J Muth's stories about Stillwater the panda a lot lately and enjoying the watercolor illustrations. There's been a few other hints of watercolor inspiration lately like Amy Karol's quilts, that had me craving to pull out my set and give it a go.

It's easy to just put the craving aside and go on. Goodness, there's a lot to do on my list and I need to make sure I feed my creative spirit. There is always a way to make it simple, to give myself a chance to play and not make it too complicated. I have a huge stash of old art files from sketchbooks waiting to be repurposed (something I learned to do quite well from my days at Curiosity, thank you!!) that would be perfect for this little adventure.

I opted to use a few of the mandals I created for a project that is has been simmering for the past 2 years. I love the repetition in their design and the calm focus they bring to me as I look at them. Adding new colors and textures to them will inspire this project and maybe just move it along a bit, who knows!

As I pulled out my old set from the closet (the one I used in high school) Korbin asked what I was doing and if he could see. I opened up the box carefully and we looked at all the colors. Yup, just as I left it, with colors mixed all over and the white tube untouched because as Mrs. Hale always said "you never use the white."

here's to the simple slugs

 

Long ago while I was reconnecting with my desire to get back into painting, I found the author Sark. She writes fantastically colorful books about creative play and pure silliness. A lot of her ideas are reminders about how I did things when I was a child to learn and explore this world. I hadn't picked up one of her books for a few years until the other night—I was searching for something beside Busy Town to read to our son. I thought he would enjoy seeing the colors, the pictures, and all the words hand written on the pages.

The opening pages is entitled "how to be an artist" and includes a long list of activities and suggestions such as "learn to watch snails." As I read them out loud Korbin began to giggle. He was intrigued with the idea of "moonbaths" and excited that we had just spent the day before studying slugs, 6 of them to be exact.

I realized how many of these things we do together already and how simple and important these little moments are in helping him cultivate a creative heart and mind. And with his help, I am practicing again and again to keep things simple and playful which is a good reminder for my heart as well as I take on new projects and expand my learning and growth.

 

teeny tiny details

 



Even with all the rain, spring here is popping with new buds and flowers. The tiny details are what speak to me most. I love the structure of plants. When leaves are expanding from tightly rolled buds and flowers are bursting it seems like magic to me.

It is the perfect time for me to get out and grab some pictures especially with all the drawing on my plate next week. Even if I don't reference a particular photo again, the essence of the shot soaks in. Over and over I find myself drawn to similar images and I never seem to be amazed at the diversity in this life.

Taking quiet walks to see the details, the simple small things, helps me to realize how big life is. It is easy for me to get wrapped up in the daily chores and wind up with a case of tunnel vision. The walks help me breathe and expand my view.

Spring reminds me that everything is growing together at once in this huge, wide world moment by moment, hour by hour, year by year. As the plants and flowers quietly influence me, maybe by being my true self I can influence others in small and significant ways as well.

inspiration please!

 



I know it is a waste of energy for me to complain about the rain here (we are in Portland after all) so I am finding ways to be inspired despite the grey, grey, grey, rainy days. Peeking back through my photos has helped — I love to see chickens in sunshine! I am excited to get out to snap a few more of the spring pods. Downpours are not so good for my camera, so maybe tomorrow...

I am in search of inspiration namely because I am just about finished with one phase of gesso application and about to jump into drawing mode — the time I take to connect with a piece and begin to see the story I want to paint. I also am just in that space where I need to stop and fill up. It's time to soak up the beauty of nature: the lines that moss covered trees make in the sky, the fantastically space alien look of brand new chestnut pods and the very bubbly centers of the fresh pink dogwoods.

When the days are full often to the point of overload I have to be aware of what helps refresh my spirit and what contributes to the drain. Simple small things can help me feel revived and balanced. Maybe it's a five minute walk I sneak in before doing some art or just a little time to breath and scan my body to help let go of tension. Just incorporating a little moment for recharge can help me stay focused and grounded with all these projects.

it's all in how I call it

Our family is having to try out something a bit new as far as food which is helping us kick up the variety, cut out some simple comforts and introduce some new tastes. A few of the details include no more cheese, tomatoes, potatoes, or dairy, at least not for a while (maybe an reintroduction later down the line). Some of this process is nothing new, a revisit to things tried in the past. And some of it seems to have me baffled, like how to eat rice and beans without salsa and cheese!!

Luckily, I have been relearning about food for a long time now. I haven't always made the best choices such as the time I was 'vegan' and a lot of potato chips and bananas for dinner. I remember how proudly I held those labels of not eating meat (ugh, yes, my body must have loved me for all the nutrtion I was taking in). Now with a bit of anatomy fresh on my mind from school, I have knowledge and desire to give this body what it needs to repair itself nightly and keep in a state of balance. I want to be able to have the energy to keep up with this journey of creating and laughter.

Anytime I learn something new I have a brief period of resistance. I dig my heels in and decide to take it in on my terms — it's my way of trying to control a small piece of the change. It's a huge waste of energy and sort of silly since change is constant. I am practicing being open to things, being simple in the midst of change and transition.

With this big change to food, I decided to 'know' that I could make these shifts effortlessly which has helped me quiet the reasons why I can't. Of course I can shift the foods I cook and of course I can love it — why not? It is all in how I approach it. With a playful spirit (and a bit of help from cookbooks and friends) almost anything can be made delicious.

 

many paths, one destination

 

 

This tree, the great octopus, greets us as we make our way to the park. Lately Korbin has taken to climbing higher and higher. I love to stand in silence as he climbs the low branches and digs at the roots looking for dinosaur teeth.

There are so many branches that when I stand underneath, my eyes get lost looking at all the paths. Yet all of them reach right back to the earth, or directly up to the sky. Rooted down deep and growing upward, taller than most people could imagine — and this whole giant beauty started from one little seed.

A few weeks ago my friend asked me to fill in as an LMT at her studio. The space is beautiful and one that I have seen her cultivate and grow from the beginning. I was glad to have the chance to work there. As I entered the room and began getting the table ready I realized that it was in this exact room that had decided I wanted to do some type of bodywork with people.

Long ago on the night of her grand opening I was peeking around, following the kids at play and talking with friends. I walked back into the small practice room. The table was set up with a navy cotton blanket, simple and clean. There was something so peaceful about the space and my heart began speaking to me about studying bodywork and massage. It was a realization I had never quite voiced or put into thought, just a knowing from deep in my heart that it was the right direction.

That night I left and began to research schools, books, Oregon law — all of it left my mind spinning. Within a few days I realized school and state boards were my future. So many options lay ahead, and one destination, to become an LMT. Just stating my intent set my journey in place.

Now that I look back, I think "of course! why didn't I do this so long ago?" But I needed to take this winding path to pick up all the skills along the way to approach life playfully and with an open heart. And how I got here doesn't matter as much as getting here in the end. 

monday's flow

 

Grey skies here have my head in a fog. I work through it bit by bit and search for sunshine to soak up in the week. Today started with another foggy-ish moment, and even though my list is long I couldn't think of anything more than painting. (the fogginess could be because of the grey or because I am kicking caffine, ahh who knows! foggy brains will pass and later, my kidneys & adrenals will thank me.)

Either way, the morning began with lots of gesso. I am still knee deep in production mode with these big wood panels. The large size has been fun to wrangle on my small desk and somehow, it all fits. Along with the gesso, a few smaller pieces needed some pencil work which was just the right amount of quiet work I needed this morning. Drawing some pod shapes — channeling spring and sunshine.

From somewhere I had this great rush of energy to start on my new website. I almost put it off thinking that I had saved the day for painting. But after taking a small break with tea, I dove in. These inspirations can be followed, there was no reason I couldn't stop and return to the gesso if it didn't work out.

For this site, I have been writing the copy for weeks (um, months) without working on the design. Pieces of my collateral for massage and coaching have been coming together perfectly, so I reminded myself to keep it simple and just flow. Within a couple of hours, I had a new template designed and programmed. All done on a day that started with such fogginess I thought I might get just a little painting done.

 

slow down, take notice

 

It is so easy for me to take off running, my mind zipping in all different directions and my eyes and ears try to follow a exuberant 4 year old at the same time. There is a lot on the plate these days and a lot I am excited to get going on. These days, with the sun beginning to shine brightly, all of this is pushed into overdrive.

The practice though, is to slow down and feel my feet. Can I notice where there are in line with my body? It's no help to me if my mind is racing and I am forgetting to check in with my heart along this journey. And what about my breath? If I forget that, well, then how the heck can I survive? It's through a deep, full breath that my body takes in extra oxygen; expands the lungs and ribcage — to help let go of tension and move a little extra lymph — then with a forceful exhale I can let go of all that I don't need anymore.

While I take these simple breaths, I scan my body, feel my feet connect to the ground. I notice where my body is in the world and what I really need to get done for the day, maybe the list can be shortened a lot. Then I peek around and see what it is I may have missed in my rush. Sometimes the details that appear are quite astounding.